LYU: Claire Mysko

You’re amazing!

Not only is that a completely totes true statement, because believe me, you absolutely are, it’s also the title of a too-cool-for-school new book, by American-o inspir-o-girl, Claire Mysko.

You’re Amazing is a response to a report called The Supergirl Dilemma, compiled by Girls Inc.

The report showed that while real-life supergirls may not be wearing lycra and a cape, you are trying to do pretty much everything else - from getting good marks at school, to fitting in and dealing with fam and gal-pals. Claire wants you to give up the quest to become ’super’ and start celebrating what makes you amazing!

Claire, we think You’re Amazing!

Claire, You’re Amazing. Fact. How would you describe what it is you do, lovely lady?
I’m a beauty activist! I want every girl and woman to feel her most beautiful. Too often, we focus on the numbers on our scales or the brand names on our clothes, but neither of those things have anything to do with real beauty. You don’t need perfect skin to truly glow–what you do need is confidence in your own amazing qualities.

You’ve written the yummo book, You’re Amazing - can you tell us what it’s about and why you’ve written it?
Many girls are so caught up in trying to being “perfect” that they lose sight of what truly makes them amazing. Enter my book…You’re Amazing! I wanted to write a practical guide to help girls deal with all the pressures they face in life. I interviewed girls and women who gave their advice on everything from personal style to coping with crushes and cliques. I also included quizzes and activities from Girls Inc., the organization that inspires all girls to be strong, smart, and bold.

As well as the book, you do lots of work with girls around body image and self-esteem - can you tell us a bit more about that please?
I have an outreach program called Inside Beauty, which I co-founded with top model Magali Amadei. Our mission is to give girls a healthy reality check on the world of fashion and beauty.

When I was a teen, I suffered with eating disorders and terrible body image. I fixated on pictures of models in magazines and I bought into the idea that if I could just look like that, I would feel better about myself. Of course the real source of my sadness and insecurity had nothing to do with weight, but I believed that thinness was the ticket to my happiness. Meanwhile, Magali was one of those models I compared myself to–and she was miserable, too! During the height of her modeling career she was depressed and bulimic.

Thankfully, we both found the courage to reach out for help. Today, we talk to girls about our stories and we help them to understand the difference between fantasy and reality. Pretty pictures don’t mean that models’ lives are necessarily better or more glamorous. And it’s pointless to compare ourselves to the images of beauty we see in magazines and on billboards anyway because they are just not real. There are teams of people working on hair and makeup and getting the lighting just right for a photo. Then after a photo is taken, a professional retoucher can drastically alter the image. Magali has had her teeth digitally whitened, her breasts digitally enhanced, and her hair digitally colored. There is no beauty product in existence that works as well as Photoshop!

What do you think are the main issues effecting teen girls right now and what do you think are the reasons for these?
I think one of the biggest issues is perfectionism. When girls get caught up in the quest to be the best, the prettiest, the smartest, the thinnest, or the most popular, chances are they’re not having too much fun—and they’re probably feeling pretty stressed out, too. In fact, according to a study called The Supergirl Dilemma, half of all girls said they are often stressed and a third of girls said they are often sad and unhappy. There are so many sources telling us what we “should” look like and how we “should” act (the media, our families, our crushes, our friends, our teachers). Sometimes all that outside noise can drown out the most important voice of all—our own.

We dig and respect our sweet selves but love wearing make-up and rocking cute ensembles too, is this cool?
Absolutely! In my book, there’s an activity that’s all about finding your “true to you style.” Clothes and makeup are tons more fun when you use them to express what makes you amazing instead of trying to fit in with what everyone else is wearing. Think about it: Style icons don’t become icons following the crowd. They create their own unique look and they know how to show up wearing it with confidence! Me? I have a serious weakness for vintage dresses and shoes.

What was being a teen girl like for you in the world?
It was tough. I suffered with terrible body image issues and I got caught up in some very unhealthy behaviors. I was so hard on myself and I spent a lot of time agonizing over mistakes I made or stepping cautiously so I wouldn’t make any more. On the plus side, I always found great joy in my creativity, even when I didn’t have confidence in my talents. I dyed my hair wacky colors (including a rather unfortunate forest green shade), I wrote for the school newspaper and the creative arts magazine, and I played guitar and drums in two bands. When my life seemed most dark, I dreamed about moving to New York City. A few years later, that dream came true and things definitely started looking up.

What do you wish you could go back and tell your teen self?
I wish I could tell my teen self to give up the perfect girl act and give myself a break in life. It’s okay to say you’re sad, angry, confused, overwhelmed, or disappointed. Whatever you’re feeling, you don’t have to use up so much energy hiding it. There are people who love you and care about you. They don’t expect you to be completely together all the time. They just want to be there for you.

Who do you think are good role models for teen girls right now?
There’s so much focus on celebrities these days, but role models aren’t role models because they’re on TV or in a magazine. They’re role models because they make a powerful difference in someone’s day-to-day life, right?

What’s the best bit of advice you’ve ever been given?
Both of my parents really know how to act all silly and goofy every once in a while. That led to some embarrassing moments growing up, but it also taught me that life is a lot more enjoyable when you don’t take yourself too seriously. I have goals and ambitions. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t belt out some cheesy 80s karaoke tunes when the mood strikes me. And let me tell you, that mood strikes me quite often!

How do we become amazing if sometimes when we look in the mirror and we don’t feel it?
We don’t have to become amazing—we already are amazing. The challenge is believing it, even in those moments when the mirror isn’t being so friendly. In fact, what we see on the outside is a reflection of how we feel on the inside. So when we say things like “I feel fat” or “I feel ugly” we’re really talking about something much deeper than our looks. Build up your confidence by making a list of your amazing inner qualities (examples: I’m a good friend, I speak my mind, etc.) and stick that list on your mirror to remind yourself that even when you have a bad day, you are always an amazing girl!

What’s Claire Mysko guide to sharing the love amongst fellow girlkind?
Girls and women tend to connect with each other over how bad we feel about ourselves—”Oh, I need to lose weight.” “What? You look great! It’s me who needs to trim down…” Sound familiar? Those conversations just go in circles. Instead of reassuring your friend about her looks, tell her something you love about your friendship. Instead of bonding over bad body image, let’s start working together to make a positive mark in the world. That’s the true definition of girl power!

Visit the amazing Claire at: Clairemysko.com